Written by Justin Y, Philippines

I often go through moments during the day when I forget that God’s here with me, and it often happens when I’m doing “secular” activities—work, chores, hobbies.

One of my hobbies is listening to classical music, especially when I’m at work, to keep the dreariness of my job from consuming me. Occasionally, a beautiful piece comes up in my playlist—e.g., Vaughan William’s “The Lark Ascending”—and for a brief moment, I am transported to a different reality, one filled with grandeur and beauty. The wonderful music reminds me there is more to this life than what meets the eye, and I remember the One who created such beauty in the first place.

Moments like this make me realise, as Jacob did at Bethel, that the Lord is here, even though I do not know it (Genesis 28:16). It has moved me to acknowledge that He is always with me, no matter where I am or what I do (Jeremiah 23:24; Psalm 139:7-10).

Is Your Ability to See God Blinded? Lift up your eyes on high, and see who has created these things . . . —Isaiah 40:26

Being reminded of God’s presence moves us to turn our spiritual eyes heavenward, and to reflect on His steadfast love and faithfulness in our lives.

So, how can we “better see” God in our everyday lives? We can pray for that and anticipate that God will call our attention to Him.

Here are four ways we can see more of God:

1. Seeing God in creation

Whenever I see a bird perched on the windowsill, or see the sun shining from the window, or feel a light breeze on my face, I consider them as reminders of the Maker and the wonderful way He’s created all these for His and our pleasure.

Scripture says, “The heavens declare the glory of God” (Psalm 19:1). He makes the grass grow (Psalm 104:14), sends rain in its season (Jeremiah 5:24), and prescribes limits to the waves of the sea (Job 38:10–11).

Beyond reminding us of God’s existence and power, creation teaches us to look to Him as our provider and helper. Jesus asks us to consider how God feeds the birds of the air and clothes the lilies of the field, so that we need not worry about what we eat or wear (Matthew 6:25–33). We can look to the hills and remember that the same God who created them is the One who helps us (Psalm 121:1–2).

I feel blessed to have studied in a university with a lot of green spaces. Whenever I felt anxious about an upcoming exam, I would study in areas close to nature to see birds hopping on the grass or the trees swaying in the wind, so I could be reminded that the Creator of the universe was there with me. It is He who is the source of all wisdom and understanding, and whatever the exam results may be, everything was going to be all right.

2. Seeing God in earthly gifts

While the natural world is a gift from God, we may sometimes feel it’s less personal, unlike the specific gifts God gives each of us—the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the roof over our heads, the skills and talents we have, our friends and family.

Whenever I consider the gifts I receive from God, be it a nice cup of coffee or a big scoop of ice cream, my heart overflows with thankfulness. These gifts show how God personally cares for us, and each gift reveals another facet of His goodness. Food and drinks could have been created dull and bland, consumed only for survival’s sake, but we enjoy a great variety of tastes and flavours from what God has created (and He’s given us tastebuds to enjoy these foods!). It was no surprise that in the wedding at Cana, Jesus did not just make any wine, but good wine (John 2:1-10).

If we enjoy the sweetness of honey and get energized by it, what more the sweetness of God’s Word (Psalm 119:103) and the spiritual nourishment we get from it? The promises of God in His Word are delightful to my soul; they give me the strength and courage to face the future.

If we enjoy the company of our close friends, how much more the abiding company of Jesus, our truest Friend? I’ve been blessed to have friends who are kind, loving, and compassionate, who stick with me through thick and thin. I thank God for them and how He has shown His grace through them, and I rejoice even more that Jesus is infinitely kinder, more loving, and more compassionate than I can imagine.

Our Father knows how to give us good gifts (James 1:17). While we may take most of them for granted, we should be more mindful of each gift and thank the Giver of the gifts we enjoy every day.

How to Grow a Deeper Friendship with God We love the idea of telling Jesus whatever’s on our hearts, of having someone to share in our burdens or comfort us when we’re lonely. But how often do we think about how we’re being friends to Jesus? Here are some ways to help us grow in our delight of seeing God as a perfect, constant friend.

3. Seeing God in work

God has commissioned work for humans even before the fall (Genesis 2:15). Work was part of God’s design, which means it’s not just a burden. We each have our God-given vocation here on earth. For example, when we order a meal from a restaurant, we are blessed by the work of the farmer, the chef, and everyone else in between that’s involved in the process of producing the food. Through His providence, God can use our work to bless others.

My work involves managing the finances of a small business of around ten employees. On the surface, monitoring cash flows doesn’t seem to make much impact compared to other “grander” vocations, but I have learned that the Lord in His infinite wisdom assigns different magnitudes of work to each person according to His purposes. Even as I write this, I am preaching this to myself, and praying that I will get to see God more in my work and see work as more than just a means to earn an income.

As A. W. Tozer said, “It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it.” I know that in my work, I am ultimately accountable to God, and every small work done excellently—the writing of checks or the double-checking of calculations—will not go unnoticed.

While work may often be unpleasant and dreary due to the fall (Genesis 3:17–19), we can rest assured that every work done heartily unto the Lord will be rewarded (Colossians 3:23–24). Whatever work we do, big or small, paid or unpaid, we know that our labour in the Lord is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58) and we can look to Him for the grace needed for every good work (2 Corinthians 9:8).

Finding God in the Midst of Unemployment Waiting on God is not easy. It’s not like waiting in line at the bank or a department store where you can see the length of the line and the end goal—the teller or the cashier.

4. Seeing God in trials

Trials and suffering are guaranteed parts of the Christian life (Acts 14:22), whether it’s bodily ailments, financial troubles, persecutions, or even minor inconveniences. These moments of suffering serve as reminder that this world is not our permanent home, and that our home is ultimately with God.

Whenever I don’t feel well, be it a migraine, nausea, or hyperacidity, I find comfort knowing that in heaven, my glorified body will know neither sickness nor pain. While these frequent ailments do feel frustrating sometimes, they have taught me to be more humble and more dependent upon the strength God provides.

Each trial is an opportunity to again trust God and rely on His all-sufficient grace in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). As we go through many afflictions, we are encouraged not to lose heart, given that an eternal weight of glory is being prepared for us, and its unseen reward is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16–18).

Finding Treasures in the Darkness: Seeing God’s Hand in My Bout with Cancer In early August 2020, I noticed a mark on my right breast. It looked like a small, insect bite, but somehow I had a feeling it wasn’t that. It didn’t itch, and it wasn’t painful, but there was a small indentation which worried me. The next day, I went to see a gynaecologist, which led to an ultrasound, a mammogram, and then a biopsy. Finally, it was confirmed: the lump was malignant. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The news left me feeling distressed and devastated.

As we seek God more intentionally in our everyday, may we get to experience the joy of His fellowship. Behold, He is with us always, to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).

Also Read:

All There: 5 Tips on Being Fully Present with God Ever conversed with a person who just really makes you feel heard and received? Who’s undistracted, and all there? Here’s my aha moment of late: Real presence with other people actually begins with the way we’re present with God.

The post 4 Ways We Can See God in Everyday Life appeared first on YMI.

Written by Amy Isham, Australia

Amy Isham is a librarian with a PhD in Leadership and has taught undergraduate social science. Amy works at City Bible Forum as their Resource Manager, and is married to Pastor Luke Isham at St Kilda Presbyterian Church. In her vast free time, Amy enjoys reading fiction, drinking coffee, and gaming with her two children, Evie and Solomon.

“I should get up and do my laundry,” I think, as I watch a K-drama.

“I should get my steps above 6,000.”

“I should unsubscribe from that streaming platform I am no longer using.” 

“I should go to bed earlier. I should wake up earlier.”

These are just some of the milder “shoulds” that pass through my head on any given day. As I was writing this, an AppleTV notification popped up on my laptop, reminding me that the movie I rented had expired. 

I seem to live in a state of “want” too. I want more time. I want more energy. I want to wake up and exercise, rather than blearily reach for my phone and assault my senses with the dumpster fire that is Twitter.

The world we live in is full of nudges, reminders, and “shoulds”. Our friends want to see us, our passport is expiring, we need to see the doctor. Our floor needs cleaning, there are no eggs left in the house. We are eligible for a discount from the local giant supermarket, says our email, peddling us wares we don’t necessarily need.

There seems to be no time for silence, but even when there is, our thoughts fill it with worries, with memories, with things we forgot to do.  

How To Rest Without Feeling Guilty I grew up in a family where we were reminded to not “just sit there” but to keep our hands busy and help others out. This has made resting unsettling for me, as it seems to be the same as “doing nothing”, which doesn’t make sense when there’s always something to be done.

Uncovering an old treasure 

Over the Easter break, my family and I cleaned out the garage, discarding old camping gear, kids’ school reports from five years ago, and Christmas cards from even earlier. In one of the boxes, I found something wonderful—a copy of The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, by the late Puritan pastor Jeremiah Burroughs (1600-1646). 

In the days before phones, I carried this book everywhere I went in my handbag. I read it on buses, trains or while waiting for friends at cafes.

The book’s power had not faded in the 15 years since I last opened it. It was just as I remembered, a “box of precious ointment, very comforting and useful for troubled hearts, in troubled times and conditions” (a quote from the book’s introductory page).

Burroughs reminded me of three ways to quiet the voices that compete for my bandwidth:

1. Relish the fullness of God

Rather than expecting a natural desire in us to relish God’s fullness, Burroughs knows we are battling with the opposite response, and that’s being consumed with a sense of not having enough; of not doing or even “being” enough. We can so easily get caught up in the “shoulds”, the “must have” and “must do”, that we lose sight of the great riches of God’s grace to us.

To help us quiet these anxious voices in our heads, Burroughs encourages us to consider these things:

Consider: the greatness of the things we have and the [smallness] of the things we lack.

Ephesians 1:1-4 says that we have every spiritual blessing in Christ: 1) being chosen to be holy and blameless, 2) adoption as God’s children, 3) our redemption and forgiveness, and finally, d) the knowledge of His will. 

Thinking about the spiritual realm is a great comfort when we are faced with having to change jobs, find a new flat, or find a medical specialist for ourselves or a family member. It reminds us that these earthly troubles are temporary and we have eternal blessings. 

Consider: that God is before us with His mercies.

My son often asks me to pray that he has a “good day”. When I pray for his day, I also pray that he will have eyes to see the good things God gives him amidst difficulties. For him, a maths test is a bad day, but a maths test given by a teacher who cares that he succeeds in life is a good thing. 

In the same way, a late train, a virus, or change at work can be for our good in ways we may not immediately see, but all come from the hand of a merciful God.

Consider: that others have suffered before us and are yet servants of God.

There are Christians across the world who have suffered—are suffering—terrible difficulties, yet God sustains and holds them. This humbling thought can make our lighter troubles feel less devastating.

Taking time to meditate on the fullness of God—as seen in all the ways He meets our needs—can lift us above our feelings of inadequacy, anxieties, and fears. The more we keep our eyes (and minds) on God and His mercies, the less room we’ll have to dwell on the nagging worries of daily life. 

All There: 5 Tips on Being Fully Present with God Ever conversed with a person who just really makes you feel heard and received? Who’s undistracted, and all there? Here’s my aha moment of late: Real presence with other people actually begins with the way we’re present with God.

2. Contentment can be learned (practised)

The beauty of contentment is that it’s something we can “learn”, as the Apostle Paul describes in Philippians 4:11-12: “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am in … to be content”. 

Paul sometimes had everything he needed and sometimes, well, he really didn’t. There were likely great times when he enjoyed safety and relative wealth, and (many) other times when he suffered immensely. 

Yet he doesn’t claim that he didn’t notice the difference. He just knows that his “heart is fully satisfied” in either state. 

I remember years ago, when I tried to explain the contentment I had developed and someone remarked that I was naturally content, I laughed uproariously, because I had so many worries and intense emotions. I remember being really excited about starting a new course of study, only to feel depressed when I saw someone had finished theirs. I’d be perfectly happy with my holiday at home until I see a friend on social media who is on an overseas trip.

But by God’s grace, these wants and worries have become quieter than before. Contentment was something I had to remind myself to practise, to stop myself from getting overwhelmed. 

I cultivated contentment by reading a paragraph from Burroughs’s book whenever I missed the train, or that time when I injured myself and had to lie down. When I was filled with a desire for a different job, I reminded myself of the blessings I had at my current job. When I was single and longed to find someone, I reminded myself that I have God’s love that will outlast any earthly love.

We can learn contentment without suppressing our “wants”. And we can start right where we are—to hold them out to God and not let ourselves drown in them, and to seek delight and satisfaction in Jesus. 

Do You Have Enough? When my son started learning to communicate, I taught him hand signals to help him convey his needs. One sign was “more”, to be used when he wants more to eat. I would then give him more food.

3. Let our dissatisfactions point us to God 

Here is another secret of contentment, according to Burroughs: “The Christian is the most contented [person] in the world and yet [they] are the most unsatisfied [person] in the world.”

We’re “naturally” insatiable creatures. We eat a meal, and we are hungry again hours later. We have our hearts lifted by a friend but the high fades the next day when we see our bills. Even when we get to do a serious streaming binge, we still turn it off feeling somewhat unsatisfied.

Even if we were wealthy enough to buy all the pleasures and treasures we could want and healthy enough to enjoy them, we still wouldn’t be satisfied (Ecclesiastes 2:1-11), because our souls are designed to be satisfied in God. Only He can fulfil us. 

This is why we still feel somewhat shortchanged by the dream job or by finally meeting a person we can love (I should know, I have found both). 

When we remember this, we can stop expecting the weight loss to finally make us happy, and that finishing our degree will make us feel smart and capable. It means that when our parents still don’t say “I’m proud of you”, it doesn’t matter so much. It means that getting a cold before a long-awaited trip no longer seems like such a downer. 

When Life Doesn’t Live Up to Its Hype I absolutely love live music—there’s something incredible about being mere meters away from your favorite band, singing your favorite tunes word for word at the top of your lungs.

If we learn to hold the things we desire loosely and ask God to keep our delight in Him, we can enjoy the things He gives us without the great burden of expecting them to satisfy us. 

The way of Christian contentment is looking to God who gives us His peace (John 14:27), and who provides for us despite the whirlwind around us. Cultivating contentment is a work of the Spirit and a continual journey of remembering Christ and forgiving ourselves for all the times we forget Him. 

While earthly life is finite and fraught with challenges, we have the greatest treasure of all: we get to know the Maker of this universe—His delightful character is endlessly thrilling, surprising, and beautiful to our souls. We have Christ, whose forgiveness is great enough to swallow all our sins. And we get to look forward to a new heaven and earth that God has promised us.

The post How to Quiet the Voices in Our Heads appeared first on YMI.

Written by Jon Coombs, Australia

Jon Coombs is the Lead Pastor at Mooroolbark Baptist Church in Melbourne, Australia. For over 15 years he has been working in various forms of ministry through churches, schools, mission agencies and not-for-profit organisations. He holds an MDiv from the Melbourne School of Theology and writes regularly at joncoombs.com.

Many years ago, I made a commitment to read through the whole Bible in one year. This meant reading four to five chapters per day, which takes you through Genesis to Revelation within 12 months. It was the first time I had done this and my sense of accomplishment, as well as the steady growth in my relationship with God, was incredible.

From that year on I’ve attempted to do the same, but I don’t think I’ve managed to read it from cover to cover again.

Perhaps you’re like me. You start off the new year with a plan to follow—to finish the whole Bible in one year. But by the time the third week of January rolls around, you’re three days behind, equivalent to 12 to 15 chapters to catch up on. The doubt about actually doing this in the first place creeps in. The guilt of not doing what you said you’d do piles up. 

And suddenly, you find yourself questioning whether your relationship with God is actually where you thought it was.

From a young age, in church or in a Christian home, we are taught that reading the Bible and praying are simply parts of the Christian identity and rhythm. I’m not going to disagree with that. The Bible itself speaks of the need to do these.

When God gives Moses His words in Exodus 24, there is the understanding that His people are to respond and obey it. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, there is the command to have them on repeat.

Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

A Bible reading habit is about having God’s words on repeat.

It’s to help us in our worship of God. To help us hear from Him (Jeremiah 33:3). 

It is to help us know more of our identity as His people (1 Peter 2:9). 

It is to help us understand the story we are part of (Psalm 139:16). 

3 Things I Learned From Reading Through the Bible in A Year Ever since I became a Christian, I have intended to read the entire Bible in a year. But I was always preoccupied with school activities and felt that I didn’t have enough time to finish reading the Bible.

It is not to feel guilty 

As a pastor, I definitely feel the responsibility to stay in the Word for the sake of the congregation I lead, so the guilt can feel especially amplified when I’m not able to keep up with Bible reading. 

But the point of a Bible reading plan is not to make us feel guilty. We aren’t saved or made right with God because of it, which I imagine we all know. Yet we are vulnerable to thinking this way because our hearts are easily drawn toward performance, toward task, toward being assured of our connection with God based on the spiritual activities we do.  

Paul reminds us in Philippians 3:2-11 that it is not through a self-reliance and self-confidence that we are assured of being right with God. Instead, it is through faith in Jesus Christ, whose work on the cross is more valuable than our dedication to Bible reading plans and Scriptural streaks. 

When we do feel guilty because we aren’t reading the Word, it may be the case we are being prompted by the Spirit, but I suspect it could also be that we have misplaced expectations. Expectations that turn Bible reading into a duty to perform rather than a delight in walking in relationship with God. 

It is in the Good News of the Gospel that we find not a duty to perform but the confidence and a willingness to seek to know God through the Scriptures. So, when we do fall behind, we simply continue reading where we were up to, knowing that skipping a day is not shaking the foundations of our faith.

Creative Ways to Stay in the Word Whereas I used to begin my day reading the Bible, or at least have a time set aside for it, my daily agenda has been turned upside down, and with it, my Scripture reading. I’ve been brainstorming ways we can help each other stay accountable in reading the Bible—partaking of our Lifeline and breathing deeply of this Sustenance.

It is not about keeping a 100-day streak 

I was talking with someone a month or two ago who had a 100-day streak in their Bible reading. Things then came up and they didn’t do it for about a week. Instead of just picking it up from where they left off, they gave up. They didn’t see much of a point to continue reading because they felt they were too far behind that they couldn’t catch up. 

But that’s not the point! There’s no competition going on (unless it’s self-imposed, and that’ll probably raise questions around “heart”).

There’s no freedom or delight in coming to read God’s Word as just words. That’s no indication of relationship; rather, it’s a symptom of performance-based Christianity. A symptom we need to medicate by reminding ourselves that “…the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12).

Bible reading has increased my knowledge of the Scriptures, which has been helpful in times where I need to remember what God’s Word says. Whether it’s for encouragement, recalibration, or comfort, I find myself hearing God in fresh ways through His enduring Word. 

Memorizing Scripture Changed My Life I’ve decided to memorize the whole of the book of Luke. I know—it sounds a bit insane. But let me tell you how I got to this point.

It’s not about following a set of explicit rules 

There are no explicit rules around reading the Bible. No one is demanding or making it a law to read a certain part or amount of the Bible. The important thing is to read it. If you read a verse or read a whole book, whatever it is, the aim is to read it.

I like Bible reading plans because they help me work through Scripture bit by bit. They help me have a goal and show me where I’m going.

We can get stuck because there are so many options to choose from within Scripture itself. When we want to read about God’s work in early history, we can look toward the early books of the Old Testament. When we wish to hear about Jesus’s life and listen to His own words, we head to the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. When we need comfort, or are wrestling with our own emotions, or simply want to rest in God’s words, then perhaps something like a Psalm or Proverb is where we should land. 

And while sometimes this is known as Bible roulette, where we are opening the Bible and seeing which page speaks to us, perhaps a better way to approach it is to choose a book and see it through. This way, we will be able to get a bigger picture of the context, understand the flow of thought, and not twist the meaning of short passages or verses. 

My experience in reading through a Bible plan has been hard but joyful work. It has helped me see the bigger picture of the Bible. It has shown me how God has worked through human history. It has enabled me to be conformed more to Christ and His ways (Romans 8:29). 

How Do I Know If I’m Reading the Bible Correctly? When I was applying to colleges years ago, I remember waiting to get my acceptance letter. One day, I sorted through stacks of junk mail to find an envelope with a college logo at the top. I tore open the letter and read it carefully.

Reading the Bible is vital for our relationship with God, to understand and worship Him. As we read His Word, we will find the Spirit transforming our hearts in ways we may not even be able to imagine. We will find ourselves changed and made aware of what God calls us to as His followers.

I’d always encourage a Bible reading plan to anyone (this one is a good one). What I wouldn’t encourage is feeling guilty about not meeting someone else’s Bible reading requirements. Read what you can, work through a plan at your own pace, and worship God in the process.

This article is originally published on the author’s blog here. This version has been edited by YMI.

Also Read:

What if I Just Don’t Want to Read the Bible or Pray? Should I pray? Read the Bible? I knew I had been neglecting these, but when I finally had the time, I just wanted to plop into bed and scroll my phone. Then the next day comes, and it’s the same thing all over again.

The post It’s Time to Take the Guilt Out of Your Bible Reading appeared first on YMI.

Written by Ananda Utami, Indonesia. Originally written in Bahasa Indonesia.

I was born in a non-Christian family that was devoutly following a different religion. In fact, my parents sent me to a school that taught the values of that particular religion. My friends at school also knew me as an obedient and pious child, as I was always teaching and reminding them to be better.

When I entered junior high school, I became interested in learning about other religions besides mine, if only to find fault with them so that I would become more convinced that my religion was the only true one. I read books and diligently watched religious debates on YouTube to learn their teachings, so I could think about how my religion was the correct one while the others were all nonsense.

When I was about to graduate from high school, I decided to continue studying abroad, so I didn’t need to take the national exams for state universities. But instead of feeling anxious about going to college or how my life would be in a new place, I started to worry about my faith. Questions like these started to form in my mind: “If I hadn’t been born into this family that believed in this religion, would I still have chosen to believe this? Am I going to stick with this? Will I find the path of truth?” 

Over time, these questions did not disappear, but made me even more curious to find answers.

How do we know for sure that Christianity is the Truth? I recently attended a religious ceremony at a Siamese Buddhist temple as part of an official visit by my MP. Several Muslims and Christians were also at the ceremony, as they had been invited after having helped the temple to solve some issues.

When I tried to face and answer my doubts

Finally, I got up the courage to ask a friend who is a Christian: “Why are you a Christian if you weren’t born with it? Don’t all religions claim that they are the correct one? You and I don’t live in the past, and if each religious book guarantees the truth of each, how do you know if your religion is the right one?”

My friend asked me to meet somewhere, and there he answered each of my questions in detail. He told me about salvation, how humans fell into sin, and how God sent Jesus to atone for our sins.

But even after that, I still couldn’t believe it, and I thought that I had wasted my time meeting him. I said, “In my religion, your book is wrong. It wasn’t Jesus who was crucified!” But no matter how hard I argued, my friend was still able to answer me calmly and in detail.

One time, my friend suggested that I read a book written by Nabeel Qureshi, who was originally not a Christian but eventually came to know and accept Jesus. Through several dreams, Nabeel received confirmation that the Lord Jesus was true.

Learning to Face Death from Nabeel Qureshi “It’s a little unsettling to watch the vlog of someone who knows he’s about to die,” I remember telling my mother after watching what would be Nabeel Qureshi’s second last video blog on YouTube just last week.

At first I refused to read it, thinking that the dreams were ridiculous, plus I didn’t like reading people’s testimonies. I thought they were all the same and will not change my mind.

However, for some reason, I eventually decided to read the book. Given all the English terms that were new to me, I should’ve been too lazy to read it to the end. However, I actually finished it. The book told me that the crucifixion of Jesus was not a fictitious event that happened in the blink of an eye. There were many witnesses and people involved. And so how strange would it be if, with all the witnesses, it was just a fake story.

Still, I tried to forget this view and convince myself that Christianity is not true.

When God knocked on the door of my heart

A few days after reading the book, I had several dreams that disturbed me. In one dream, I saw myself being scolded by my mother because of my decision to follow Jesus.

I began to wonder if the dreams were because I had read the book, or if it was really a sign from God. It felt so scary.

So I tried to tell my friend about it. But to my surprise, he instead talked to me about the Pharisees who worshiped with the aim of “bribing” God. The Pharisees performed rituals with the presumption that they would be saved.

I was stunned when I heard this, because that’s exactly how I felt all the time—like a Pharisee who knew a lot about religion and practiced rituals so that I could be saved and have a special place in God’s eyes. This saddened me.

That night I cried and prayed to God, whoever that God was. I asked Him to show me the truth. Then, I read a devotional my friend sent me and saw this verse—Psalm 46:10: “Be still and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, exalted in the earth!”

Reading that verse gave me goosebumps; it was as if God was speaking directly to me. In that moment, I decided to trust God.

If God Is Real, Why Doesn’t He Make Himself More Obvious? Anyone who has believed in God for any extended period of time shares something in common. Disappointment. At some point we ask ourselves: Why don’t I feel my faith anymore?

But the next day I doubted again whether this was really the path I had chosen. Was the God I chose to believe that night the true God? And again, God answered me through the devotional for that day. I read John 15:16, which says:

“You did not choose Me, but I chose you. And I have appointed you, that you may go forth and bear fruit, and your fruit shall remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he may give you.”

I was surprised again. It felt like God was really answering my doubts.

After a long series of events led me to doubt the faith that I had believed in, I finally made up my mind to accept Jesus after I graduated from high school. I knew that this decision will give birth to challenges, from my parents, friends, and my circles.

However, I found truth and peace in Jesus Christ, so I took courage and believed that the Lord Jesus was with me.

Losing friends as a consequence of following Jesus

For some time, I kept my decision a secret from everyone, including my friends. Even though I really wanted to tell them, I was afraid.

When I brought this struggle to God, He answered me that it was not time yet for me to open up about my new identity. So I thought that perhaps, with my old identity, it would be easier for me to convey Christian understandings to my friends, so that when I finally open up about myself, they wouldn’t be too surprised.

I began to actively leave “traces” and send “signals” about my new faith by making spiritual posts with slight modifications. I would post the lyrics of spiritual songs and Bible quotes without citing the source. This went on for a year and a half.

Why Is It So Hard to Evangelize to My Friends? After a few years of attending campus ministry at my university, I became increasingly gripped by the gospel, and evangelizing to my friends quickly took a front seat in life. I started spending time planning and meeting my non-Christian friends and thinking hard about who in my life could benefit from hearing the gospel.

After praying earnestly for some time, I finally decided to tell my friends about my faith. I expected them to be sad when they found out, but I told them anyway because I knew I couldn’t keep this a secret forever, and because they’re my best friends.

They were shocked that I would become like this. They thought that my posts on social media were just because of my curiosity about Christianity, nothing more.

After telling them, I felt relieved that I finally got to be honest with my friends. I thought that they wouldn’t leave me because we were best friends. But I was wrong.

The next day, one of them messaged me, expressing her anger, disappointment, and sadness. She felt that I had betrayed her because I kept this a secret. I was devastated.

When I asked my other friends, they also expressed similar feelings. In the days that followed, they started asking me many questions about my Christian faith, but not out of curiosity; they were trying to pull me back to my original faith.

However, by that point I had decided that I firmly believed in Jesus. Since then, they decided to distance themselves from me.

I’m very sad to have lost my friends. But I still pray for them, and I’m grateful that God has given me new friends through the fellowships that I’ve joined.

What I am facing today may only be a small part of what I will face in the future, and it is nothing compared to how Jesus was ostracised by people, even to the point of being denied by Peter, His own disciple who was so close to Him.

I believe that no matter what happens in the future, God will never leave me, just as this song reminds and comforts me:

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will share all our sorrows?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

I may have lost close friends that I love so much, but I will always have the Lord Jesus, the true friend who will never leave me no matter what.

Also Read:

When Christianity Cost Me My Friendship Back when we were in secondary school, I had invited Ava, my best friend of nine years, to church. Ava accepted Christ into her life and began attending weekly cell group meetings and services on a regular basis.

5 Truths For When You’re Afraid of Sharing the Gospel Sharing our faith often feels scary. Whilst many of us would love to be the kind of Christian who introduces other people to Jesus, we can sometimes get stuck in a vicious cycle.

How to Come Out as a Christian at Work It’s scary to be a Christian in today’s workplace. If anyone finds out that we’re a Christian, there’s a good chance they will automatically assume we are haters, bigots, and racists. We will have awkward conversations defending our views on religion. So it’s natural that we want to  stay quiet, never let anyone know that we’re a Christian, and avoid any talk about Jesus.

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